


hey there mr blue, were so pleased to be with you

by Pinktoria



Series: good end/bad end [3]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bad end, Basically, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, MICHAEL IN THE BATHROOM AT A HOE DOWN, Mountain Dew Red, Not Canon Compliant, Underage Drinking, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Video Game Endings, Vomiting, boyf riends is endgame but. hmmm., but they talk about mihcael in the bathroom, its not actually The michael in the bathroom. its just a parallel, jeremy hurt him fot.., mentions of michael in the bathroom, tell me if theres anything else you think needs tagged and well. ill tag it, this isnt the party that was mentioned in only everyone can judge me, uhhhhhhhh idk how else to tag this so ig ill die
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 06:22:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14868404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinktoria/pseuds/Pinktoria
Summary: mr blue you did it right, but soon comes mr nightbad end. i recommend reading the other two works in this series to understand this one.“Why are we even here?” Jeremy asked unhappily. He stepped up onto the porch as the Squip led him along, blinking when they turned and sneered at him before motioning for him to ring the doorbell.[Because, Jeremy. You’ve been ascending the ladder of popularity at a slower rate.] They told him, giving him a onceover. [Nearly 45% slower than when we started. We cannot allow that to happen. If you’re going to be popular, you need to keep your reputation up.]“If you say so,” He mumbled, and stepped forward to press his finger against the rubbery doorbell button.





	hey there mr blue, were so pleased to be with you

**Author's Note:**

> ive been working on this for so long. and it was just this chapter! the next chapter probably wont take as long as this one did, since ive planned things out, but expect it to take a long time either way.
> 
> sorry if the formatting is weird!! please let me know if there are any typos and ill fix them!
> 
>  
> 
> in this chapter there is attempted rape/noncon. it begins at "After a moment, he set the newly empty cup down, back in its previous position on the nightstand." without the quotes and ends at "He shoved her backward again and stood up, but she caught his wrist."  
> theres an incident again later in the bathroom where it is mentioned.

“Why are we even here?” Jeremy asked unhappily. He stepped up onto the porch as the Squip led him along, blinking when they turned and sneered at him before motioning for him to ring the doorbell.

 

[Because, Jeremy. You’ve been ascending the ladder of popularity at a slower rate.] They told him, giving him a onceover. [Nearly 45% slower than when we started. We cannot allow that to happen. If you’re going to be popular, you need to keep your reputation up.]

 

“If you say so,” He mumbled, and stepped forward to press his finger against the rubbery doorbell button. There was loud cheering inside and the door swung inward. A guy with [cool] black hair and dazed but bright blue eyes grinned back at him. Jeremy’s Squip nodded in greeting, likely to the other guy’s Squip. “Yo, Jeremy, you made it!” He whooped. “Come on in, dude, drinks are in the kitchen.” He said, beckoning the taller teen inside.

 

Jeremy stepped in, letting his host close the door as he made his way into the kitchen. He glanced around at things hanging in the hallway as he stepped. Family portrait, school pictures, ribbons, sports trophies. He wondered briefly if this guy’s family knew he was throwing parties with alcohol and drugs and all these shitty people. He got a little shock for that from the Squip as they led him into the kitchen, saying, [We need to find you a popular girl to get with. How about Lauren? Look, she’s over there with Anne and Elizabeth.]

 

They turned him by the shoulder to look, taking his chin in their other hand and turning his head to look. Lauren was standing near a doorway with two other girls (Jeremy didn’t really know either of them, other than their names. He wasn’t sure which was Anne and which was Elizabeth, but the Squip obviously was).

 

Lauren had dark skin and dark hair and [pretty] dark eyes, and she was nice, if he had to guess. He didn’t know her all that well. She was leaning against the doorframe and laughing, her red cup held up to her [lovely] lips as if she were about to take a drink and someone had said something funny.

 

Jeremy shifted his weight. ‘Are you sure?’ He asked, and got another shock for it.

 

[Of course I’m sure!] The Squip snapped at him. [What do you take me for?] They started to walk him towards her without giving him any time to prepare, a hand on the small of his back. [“Hey girls. Anne, y’mind grabbing me a drink? Thanks.” Smile at them softly. We need to get Anne and Elizabeth out of the picture, and the way to do that is to be nice to them.]

 

“Hey girls. Anne, y’mind grabbing me a drink? Thanks.” He smiled softly, just like he was told. The Squip’s hand dropped from the back. They trusted him with this conversation.

 

“Oh, hey, Jeremy. Sure, just a second.” Anne said, and she turned away and stepped across the room to grab him a plastic cup of his own. As she did, some guy came up to her and started chatting her up. He was probably Squipped. He was just a distraction for Anne. Besides, most people were Squipped lately.

 

[“So Lauren. Elizabeth. What’s up?”] the Squip told him.

 

“So. Lauren, Elizabeth. What’s up?” He asked, making sure to repeat their words exactly. He didn’t want to get into any trouble with the Squip, or into an awkward social interaction (he hadn’t had one in a while of course, but as he got more and more popular, the more fear he had of messing up).

“Nothin’.” Elizabeth murmured, sending a smile his way. “Just standin’ and talkin’.”

 

“Do you mind if I join you?” He said, at almost the same time as the Squip, grinning casually. The two shook their heads and moved to accept him into their little group.

 

A moment later, Anne returned to hand Jeremy his drink. She pushed it gently into his hand, letting their fingers brush against each other. “Sorry, guys, I can’t stay. Me and Joseph are gonna go.” She murmured, smiling at her friends and Jeremy and motioning at the guy standing behind her. Joseph offered the three a lazy grin.

 

‘Is he Squipped?’ Jeremy asked in confusion.

 

The Squip’s answer was, [You’re welcome.] Because apparently everything they said had to be uselessly cryptic. He got a little shock for that last part.

 

“It’s alright.” He said, the Squip still guiding him. He smiled at her and took a sip of his drink. It tasted… bitter, and he didn’t like it, so he swallowed as pointedly as possible.

 

[You don’t have to drink it. You just have to act like you are.] They scoffed, obviously annoyed at him.

 

He still had many objections, but he knew better than to argue with the Squip. He smiled at Lauren and, still very pointedly, took another actual sip.

 

The night progressed, everything blurring together, and before he knew what happened, Elizabeth had left their group, he’d had five (???) drinks so far, and Lauren was leading him up a staircase, unpleasantly loud music blaring behind him from the first floor.

 

He went over his surroundings in an attempt to keep focus. The staircase was not one in his own home, but rather, one at the suburban house of some guy he didn’t know. Jeremy didn’t think he knew anyone at this party, actually. He was dizzy, his head pounding as he swayed drunkenly. He was so tired. He wanted to go home.

 

[You can’t go home yet. Besides, you know Lauren, don’t you?] The Squip said, sounding exasperated.

 

He looked up at Lauren, who was currently a step or two ahead of him, holding his hand and gently tugging him up the shadowy but expensive looking stairwell. He supposed he did know her, kind of. He’d talked to her a bit at the Squip’s prompt. He couldn’t tell if she was Squipped or not, since the Squip wouldn’t let him sync up, so that made to harder to interact with her.

 

Lauren led him away from the rest of the hardly lit house, filled with drunk partygoers and their Squips behind them, climbing the stairs into the intimacy of one of the bedrooms.

 

Sure, Lauren was nice. But he would much rather be with [REDACTED] right now. [REDACTED] was soft and warm and safe and—

 

[—not important, Jeremy. You don’t need him anymore. That’s why I deleted him from your life.] The Squip sighed. They’d had this conversation a thousand times.

 

‘Yeah,’ Jeremy thought halfheartedly, not wanting to get into this argument right now. That was an okay reason to erase him, he figured. It was for the Squip, anyway, but it still didn’t mean he didn’t miss [REDACTED]. He didn’t let that thought surface, for the fear of being shocked, but it was one thing he found shockingly unfiltered.

 

‘Why are you making me go with Lauren, though?’ He asked the Squip, padding slowly after the shorter girl as she led him up the stairs.

 

As they stepped up the stairs, Lauren rambled away. “It’s his birthday,” She was in the middle of telling him. He was paying attention to the Squip, though, not Lauren, but she kept going anyway, because she didn’t know that.

 

[Because Lauren is popular. We’re trying to climb the social pyramid, remember? If you get with Lauren, guys will be jealous. They’ll become friends with you in the hopes of getting with _her_ friends.] They snapped coldly.

 

‘But I’m with _Christine_ ,’ He stressed. The Squip didn’t answer.

 

“His parents are idiots for giving him a night home alone to celebrate, though, ‘cause when there’s a night alone, there’s a party.” She set her hand on the banister as she reached the top, standing aside and waiting for Jeremy to step up beside her. She was still holding his hand with her other one, sending him a sly smile.

 

He didn’t bother to tell her that would mean it’s wasn’t a night alone.

 

[Good, don’t correct her. Women like to be right.] The Squip murmured.

  
‘That’s kind of a-’ mean stereotype, he started to say, but stopped at the feeling of electricity buzzing at the base of his spine. He didn’t want to go and get himself shocked again. He’ d accumulated quite a number of scars from the Squip, and if his back wasn’t numb, it was buzzing with pain. He’ d had enough of the shocking.  


Lauren smiled at him and led him to a closed door while he fidgeted with his shirt hem. ‘But I’m with Christine… and that’s all I wanted, so why are we still trying?’

 

[Look, Jeremy. If you’re so anxious about this, [REDACTED] _is_ here. The only way I will let you see him, though, is if you offer him a Squip.]

 

‘But I don’t want to give him a Squip,’ Jeremy thought, slightly upset by the notion. [REDACTED] didn’t deserve to have a Squip. [REDACTED] didn’t deserve all the [nice] things Jeremy’d done [for] him, and he especially didn’t deserve the Squip’s constant [assistance].

 

[I will not be letting you see him tonight, then. Perhaps if you comply, I will rethink this decision.] The Squip said. Jeremy didn’t argue. Their word was final.

 

He focused on the real world for a moment. Lauren was leading him into a bedroom, smiling back at him. He was starting to get uncomfortable, old memories surfacing. [This is what we want.] The Squip told him, though, so he relaxed slightly. [This is what _you_ want.]

 

[What about all those terrible things [REDACTED]’s done to you?] The Squip asked him. Jeremy thought about it, but he couldn’t come up with anything terrible [REDACTED] had done to him…

 

There was a hand on his chest suddenly. Looking up quickly, he found that Lauren was pushing him back onto the bed, already straddling him. He hadn’t even realized she’d done that. She was looking down at him expectantly, one eyebrow raised and her mouth set in a soft, amused smirk. His mind started to race. Had she asked him something?

 

[Useless. She asked you if you have a condom, idiot. You do, in your front pocket. Take it out and smile.] The Squip commanded.

 

He reached for his pocket and fumbled uselessly for a moment under her leg to get it out. After a moment, she took pity on him and stopped him. She laughed at him, her hand settling on top of his and bringing it to a stop. He flushed, not only at her touch, but at her laughter.

 

“Have a drink first.” She said, giggling. She grabbed a red cup (was it hers? She hadn’t been carrying it up the stairs, but maybe she’d been up here before…) off the nightstand and pushed it into his hands.

 

Jeremy hesitated for a moment before gladly accepting the drink. It could’ve been unsafe, but he didn’t care. He was already pretty drunk. This would probably send him over the edge, so he would no longer have to hear the Squip. Realizing his plan, they started to shock him.

 

[あなたはこれをしたくない、ジェレミー!] (You don't want to do this, Jeremy!) They spat, but Jeremy didn’t catch a word of it. They kept shocking him, sputtering bits of Japanese that he didn’t understand at all. [あなたはこれを後悔するつもりです!] (You're going to regret this!)

 

After a moment, he set the newly empty cup down, back in its previous position on the nightstand. His head was also newly empty, suddenly silent. He breathed a sigh of relief, then froze as Lauren started to unbutton his pants.

 

Unthinkingly, he shoved her back, shakily standing up as unwanted memories hit him, hard. The bed bounced slightly with the force of his movement. He briefly wondered how used it was.

 

“Are you okay, Jeremy?” She asked, peering up at him with big, confused doe eyes, faux innocence set in her expression.

 

“I-I can’t do th-this…” He mumbled, flinching when he stuttered. “S-sorry.”

 

Lauren stared for a moment. Then, she gave him a soft smile, pulling him back down to the bed so fast he felt dizzy (or was that just the alcohol?).

 

“Of course you can,” she told him, slipping her hands up his shirt and starting to pull it up. They were warm against his skin, he noted, shuddering uncomfortably as one slid down against his stomach and went back to unbuttoning his pants. “You just need to relax.”

 

He shoved her backward again and stood up, but she caught his wrist. “Where are you going?”

 

Jeremy ripped his hand away from her grasp, trying not to let the pure terror show in his face. He turned quickly on his heel, swaying slightly, and raced out the door. He stumbled, trying to get to the bathroom. He felt sick and he was on the verge of panicking. He didn’t want to be here anymore. He hadn’t wanted to be here in the first place.

 

As he staggered to the bathroom, giving soft little whimpers, he willed himself not to be sick. He couldn’t do that here, where people could see. Where people would _stare_. He practically fell into the bathroom, holding one hand to his head, one against the wall to steady himself. He managed to push the door shut with his hip, dropping a hand to lock it.

 

He collapsed on the floor in front of the toilet, retching into it. He’d had too much to drink, so he’d known that was inevitably coming, but it didn’t stop him from sobbing as hard as he did when he’d stopped and folded his arms over his stomach as he crumpled back.

 

“J… Jeremy?” Came a familiar voice. It was hesitant and _confused._ Jeremy twisted to look, feeling deja-vu wash over him. He felt bile rise in his throat again, though, and ducked his head back into the toilet, choking out sobs as he heaved.

 

He flinched when felt a warm hand on his back, and a presence at his side. Lauren’s hands had been warm like that. But then there was another hand brushing his hair away from his sweaty forehead, smoothing it back as the other started to rub in gentle circles. He tried to speak, but was shushed softly, the rubbing going a bit slower. He choked and lurched forward once more, dry heaving for a few moments. It seemed to stop there. Jeremy leaned into the person at his side.

 

“This doesn’t mean ‘m not m-mad at you, though.” The presence next to him rumbled softly.

 

Jeremy just whimpered, pressing a gentle hand against his stomach in an attempt to soothe himself without making it feel worse. He took a shaky breath, crying softly and doing his best to keep rubbing the tears away.

 

At some point, though, his hands were gathered and stopped, and it was at this moment that he looked up to see who he was leaning against. Peering back at him was the person he’d been avoiding for months, now. Michael.

 

He jolted away, feeling like he was going to get sick all over again. “M-Michael, I—fuck, I’m so sor-sorry…” were the words that he instantly blurted, tears overflowing and blurring his vision again, rolling down his cheeks and dripping from his chin. His throat was sore from throwing up, it hurt to speak, but he needed to say something. He hardly even knew what he’d _said_.

 

He thought back to what the Squip had told him. ‘If you’re so anxious, Michael _is_ here.’ He’d forgotten. Should he be offering him a Squip?

 

Michael was wearing a conflicted expression. Jeremy observed him quietly, eyeing his set frown as rubbed Jeremy’s back, his dark, messy hair, his soft features. One half of his face illuminated by the moonlight from the window, making his dark skin and hair seem paler. The high points reflected the moonlight and faded into dark shadow, the blinds from the window creating barred strips of darkness across his face. Something about this moment suddenly seemed disturbingly familiar, but the Squip had influenced his mind so much that even though they were off, Jeremy still couldn’t seem to reach the memories correctly.

 

Or maybe it was the alcohol again.

 

He kept on staring, and Michael was staring back, so they ended up staring at each other for almost a full three minutes. After a while, he looked away, rubbing his eyes with the back of his sleeve. His tears were still flowing. He’d always been such a crybaby without the Squip.

 

“A-are—“

 

“I—“

 

They both stopped. Michael didn’t speak again, staring at him and prompting him to continue.

 

“A-are you... are you okay?” Jeremy settled on, worrying his bottom lip at his persisting stutter and his hoarse voice. The Squip would have shocked him for that.

 

Michael peered at him from behind his glasses, eyes widened. Then, he chuckled softly. Then he started to laugh. Hard. “I thought I’d finally… just, y’know, lost it!” He cackled. “I thought I was just imagining this!”

 

Jeremy leaned away from Michael, against the wall, to take a soft breath. Michael seemed kind of hysteric, and it was scaring him after what had happened. His (ex-?) friend stopped laughing after a moment and huffed a breath of his own, glancing at Jeremy again. “… _Am I_ imagining this?”

 

“N-no!” He shot up, then clutched his stomach, because he just got sick, why was he such a fucking idiot, he de-

 

There was a sudden slamming on the door, an angry pounding. Michael jolted, eyes widening. Jeremy flinched when he heard the voice on the other side.

 

“Jeremy _fuckin’_ Heere! Did you have _sex_ with my _fuckin’_ _girlfriend_?!” He slumped down against the wall in horror, watching as Michael winced at each pound on the door. “I’m gonna fuckin’ _kill_ you!” The guy was slurring his words with obvious drunkenness, his voice low and just short of raving as he shouted.

 

“Whose fucking _girlfriend_ did you _have sex with_ ?” Michael whisper-yelled, turning to stare at him with wide, hurt-filled eyes. “Did you _have sex_ with someone’s _girlfriend_?!”

 

“Wh-what?” He wailed, cringing at the raw feeling in his throat. “I-I didn’t have sex—sex with anyone’s girlfriend! _I didn’t!_ !” He didn’t know what Michael’s deal was. Then again, that _had_ been pretty startling. The guy at the door was still slamming his fists against the wooden surface furiously, and Michael still cringed with each bang.

 

He was having _such_ deja-vu.

 

A feminine voice joined the guy’s suddenly, and Jeremy _recognized_ that voice. “He didn’t have _sex_ with me!” Thank god. “He _raped me!”_ She screeched. _What?_ He silently prayed for his Squip to come back online.

 

Jeremy was silent, eyes wide in terror. Michael whipped around to look at him, but he couldn’t speak, couldn’t explain, and lucky for him, Michael knew him well enough to realize that. He took Jeremy’s hand and pushed up to his feet, gently helping him up as he did.

 

“C’mon, Jeremy.” He said softly, taking Jeremy by the arm when he stumbled. “We’ll… get beat up if we go out there. We’re gonna have to jump out the window.”

 

“What? But… but…” Jeremy stammered in confusion, peering down at Michael’s hand as it burned against his flesh. He was so _warm_. He wanted to throw himself against that warmth and let Michael hold him. He didn’t. Instead, he let Michael guide him towards the window.

 

“You’ll be okay, I’ll be right there with you. C’mon, we just… gotta get out of here.” Michael murmured, voice quick and nervous but somehow reassuring.

 

As if to prove his point, there was more banging at the door, making him flinch. Jeremy stumbled into him, knocking his chin against the side of his head.

 

“If you don’t get out here in five seconds _I’m_ coming _in!”_ The guy roared, and Lauren sobbed loudly in the background.

 

Michael frantically dragged Jeremy over to the window and started opening it. “Whatever, dude. _I’m_ going. It’s your choice if you come or not.” He muttered, pushing it up and starting to step out onto the roof. Jeremy panicked and started to follow him. He didn’t want to be left alone in there, especially not when Lauren’s apparent boyfriend was going to _break in_ and _beat him_ _up_.

 

He watched dazedly as Michael rolled his shoulders back and prepared to jump. Everything was going so _quickly_.

 

“Okay, Jere. You’re gonna tuck and roll, got it? Then we gotta run to my car.” He turned and peered at his (ex-?) friend of 12 years, who frowned. That would be much easier with his Squip, but he nodded anyway. He’d jumped off of tall places before, this would be easy _enough_. He could prove he was useful without the fucking supercomputer, even in his drunk state.

 

Michael shifted his weight hesitantly before throwing himself off the roof. Jeremy watched as he tucked into himself and rolled as he hit the ground.

 

Behind him, he heard Lauren’s boyfriend bust in the bathroom door. “ _What the hell?_ They’re jumping off the roof!”

 

Jeremy panicked and jumped off the roof without thinking. He didn’t have time to prepare himself for the fall or the landing. He let out a yelp when he hit the ground, biting his lip. That’d knocked the breath out of him. Michael scrambled to his feet, immediately starting to help him up, and then Michael _picked_ him up. And then he was in Michael’s arms, and Michael was holding him against his chest.  
  
“Y-you okay?” He asked as he started to run to the car. He stared up and observed Michael’s features, lips parted slightly in awe.

 

He couldn’t speak, so he nodded and pressed himself into his (ex-?) friend’s burning hold. Giving a relieved noise, Michael dumped him into the passenger seat of his lame PT Cruiser before darting around around the car and dropping himself into the driver’s seat. He fished in his pocket for a moment before producing his ridiculous car keys, millions of keychains jingling on it, and pushing the key into the ignition. The car started with what did not sound like a very healthy car noise. Neither of them bothered to buckle up as Michael took off.

 

“I doubt they’ll try to follow us, b-but we gotta be safe.” Michael mumbled, his set frown returning to his face as he drove. Jeremy frowned, too, at that, but didn’t say anything; instead, he tried not to pay any attention to how fast the car was going, quietly buckling himself in and keeping his eyes on his dirty converse.

 

Michael noticed his discomfort and slowed just a bit, and while he appreciated that, it didn’t help. He still felt pretty sick from the bathroom, not to mention the fact that he’d _jumped out of a window_. He was still pretty shaken, but since the adrenaline was leaving him, he was starting to feel a pain in his right leg. He contemplated saying something about it to Michael briefly, but his Squip wasn’t there.

 

They drove around for a bit, both of them silent and tense as Michael just went wherever. Jeremy stole glances at the other every once in a while, frowning. His friend’s brows were furrowed, his sleeves pushed up to his wrists and his bracelets clattering against each other. His shoulders were tense, hands were tight around the wheel. His hair was messy, but Jeremy resisted the urge to fix it like he would have before. After a bit, Michael took a deep breath, making him jump.

 

“Can we talk a-about what just happened?” He asked softly, keeping his eyes on the road as he drove.

 

Jeremy glanced at him from where he’d leaned back in his seat. He was too exhausted to stay upright. “I d-didn’ have sex w-with anyone…” He mumbled, words still slightly slurred. “I-I-I didn’ r-rape anyone. She was lyin’.”

 

He thought back to Lauren and started grabbing at his shirt out of anxiety. He flinched slightly, as the reaction was near automatic and had the Squip been here, they would’ve shocked him for it. He couldn’t help the tic, though. That had reminded too much of… something. He wasn’t sure, but it made him _uncomfortable_.

 

Giving a soft noise, he nodded and started pulling the car into a driveway. Jeremy peered up, surprised to find that they’d arrived at Michael’s house. His house was rather large, but it only contained him, his mamá, and his nanay. His mothers usually had abnormal work hours, though, and it often left Michael alone in his big, empty house. He couldn’t help but feel guilt build up inside him. He left Michael alone like that.

 

He watched in a haze as Michael took the keys out of ignition, pushing open his door and standing. He watched his friend stepped around the car, opened Jeremy’s door, and waved him up. He stared up at the shorter teen blankly, blinking.

 

“What?” Michael looked incredulous, but Jeremy couldn’t figure out what for. He started to gingerly lift himself out of his seat, easing himself out of the car, but he stumbled as soon as he set foot on ground. Fuck, his leg. Not to mention how the world seemed to be tilted. Strong, warm arms caught him and he gave a startled little giggle, immediately setting his head against the side of Michael’s chest.  
  
“Squip’s n-not gonna like this when they c-come back.” He said, smiling serenely up at Michael’s crumpled expression.

 

The chest he’d laid his ear on gave a low rumble with a sigh as Michael seemed to realize something all at once. “Oh, yeah? Why’s that?” He asked softly, pushing Jeremy upright and latching an arm around him, under his arms.

 

“They d-don’t like you…” He mumbled sadly. Not liking was an understatement, though. They had “not liked” Michael before, but after… something at the school play happened, they loathed him. Whenever he had anything more than a fleeting thought about the boy, he got a new shiny scar on his back.

 

“They aren’t l-literally shiny,” He quietly informed Michael.

 

The shorter of the two shook his head at his tired, drunken mumbling and started towards the house. Jeremy gave an unhappy grunt at the laborious action of walking, leaning heavily into Michael and letting him do most of the work. God, his leg hurt so badly, and he was tired. He didn’t like sounds right now, he found; the crunching of the broken asphalt under their shoes was not his favorite. Michael’s mothers should do something about that.

 

Jeremy continued to watch his friend sleepily, his eyes following Michael’s hand slowly as he fumbled with his keys and unlocked the door. Nanay and mamá must not have been home. He missed Michael’s moms. They were always so good to him, and Michael, too. Though, maybe that was his motherless ass talking.

 

Michael nudged him inside the warm house, closing the door behind them. Giving a relieved sigh at the heat, Michael stepped out of his shoes and pushed them aside before helping Jeremy to take his own off by stepping on the back and letting Jeremy slip them off. Jeremy was starting to grow sleepy, leaning uselessly into his friend.

 

“Jere, you gotta actually hold up your own weight.” Michael murmured at this, his voice sounding tired, but not in the sleepy way, unlike his taller friend.

 

He grumbled. “Can’t. Everythin’s heavy. Leg hurts.”

 

With a soft sigh, Michael moved to pick him up, touching the back of his knees first to make sure he didn’t startle him. Jeremy smiled softly. He’d remembered to do that. He let Michael heave him up and he cuddled into his chest, closing his eyes. “Hey… you can’t sleep yet, buddy…”

 

“Why?” Jeremy whined softly.

 

“Because I need to talk to you.” Michael answered, smiling slightly but still looking concerned. With a soft yawn, Jeremy nodded. He wanted to talk to Michael, too, but he was so tired. He gave a little huff.

 

“‘Kay. But ’m tired.” He mumbled.

 

He head Michael sigh, adjusting him in his arms. “Yeah, I know, Jeremy. I am too.” He murmured, starting to step into the house.

 

Despite not wanting him to sleep, Michael thankfully let him doze off while carrying him. When he woke up, he was laying on a soft surface. “Jere. You gotta get up.”

 

“Mmh…” Jeremy groaned, trying to prop himself up. Shaking his head, Michael gently pushed him back down, pulling a blanket he hadn’t noticed back up onto him.

 

“You can lay. I just need to talk to you, okay?” He smiled. His face was illuminated now by his red lava lamp instead of moonlight. His features were still soft, though, the light slowly changing over his face as the little lava bits moved inside the lamp.

 

Jeremy glanced around. They were in Michael’s room. It was pretty bare. At this point, it was pretty much a guest room or a storage room, since Michael spent most of his time in the basement. Why did Michael bring him in here? Maybe the basement was filled with too many memories. Guilt welled up in him again.

 

“‘Kay.” He breathed, glancing at Michael now.

 

With a soft smile, he nodded. Jeremy watched as he looked down at his hand on the bed, his smile dropping. “Is the Squip on now?”

 

“No.” He answered. That one was easy. No angry, distorted Japanese, no silent but powerful feeling of being judged over his shoulder. But most of all, he could see Michael. “‘M drunk, an’ they said if they stayed on while I got drunk or high that they’d start tellin’ me to kill people or somethin’.”

 

Michael nodded slowly at that, fingers working idly over his hoodie sleeve. Jeremy glanced down at his chest. The college lettered “CREEPS” sweater was missing, replaced with a variety of patches. “How much did you drink?”

 

He snorted. “A lot.”

 

Michael stared at him for a moment, then gave a huff, shaking his head. “You shouldn’t drink so much.”

 

“‘S the only way to make them go away,” Jeremy slurred, then blinked slowly. “Why’m I layin’ down an’ you’re not?”  


Looking surprised at the sudden question, Michael gave a soft noise. “Well, you fell asleep, so I just put you in my bed… I didn’t really think about laying down.”

 

He took his friend by the hand, gently pulling him down onto the bed with him. “Lay down.”

 

Michael forced out an uncomfortable noise and Jeremy’s eyes snapped up to his face. He looked… hesitant. Instantly, he took his hands back, gasping. Michael didn’t _want_ to, and even if Jeremy didn’t have any alternate intentions, it still made him feel dirty. The way Lauren made him feel dirty and the way _Chloe_ made him feel dirty.

 

He paused at that. Why had Chloe’s name come up? He tried to think on it, but the Squip was blocking out the memory. Damn.

 

He didn’t dwell on it for long. “I-I’m sorry.” He managed, and his own voice sounded far too unapologetic for his liking. Was that a learned behaviour? He really hoped not.

 

“It’s…” Michael trailed off, but he was moving to sit on the bed next to Jeremy. Jeremy let out a soft, relieved breath as the mattress shifted with Michael’s weight. He shuffled closer, lifting himself slightly to set his head on Michael’s lap and giving a sigh when he felt a hand push into his hair. Just like before.

 

Eventually he started to doze off, one arm draped over his friend’s legs. Michael shook him awake before he could fully fall asleep. “Jere.”

 

“Mmnuh?” Jeremy said intelligently.

 

“When will the Squip come back?” He asked patiently.

 

He stared at his friend, blinking in confusion. It took a moment for him to fully process the words. “When does it come back?”

 

“You said it was off. When will it come back on?” Michael elaborated, blinking down at the boy currently occupying his lap. He gently carded through his hair again after a moment, and Jeremy leaned into the touch.

 

He thought hard. His thoughts were all muddled. “It, uh… when ‘m not drunk anymore…” He mumbled, nodding his head slightly. After thinking for a moment, he tacked on, “Or high.” Rolling onto his stomach, he slipped an arm around Michael’s waist and stared up at him. “Are y’gonna stay?”

 

Michael seemed startled at the sudden change of subject. Looking very conflicted, he let his eyes flicker away for a moment before looking down and staring back. “What?”

 

“Stay with me while I sleep?” He asked softly, squeezing. Michael gave a low noise and gently smoothed Jeremy’s hair back, then set his hand on his lap again. Jeremy frowned at that, but looked back up to Michael as the other spoke.

 

He shifted underneath his friend, prompting Jeremy to move away. “I… can’t, buddy. There are a lot of the reasons for that, but you’re way too sleepy for me to explain ‘em.” He stood up, shifting his weight from foot to foot nervously. “I have something I need you to do for me before you sleep, anyway.”

 

“Mmh?” Jeremy murmured, peering up at him. Michael held up a finger and dropped to the floor, grabbing his bookbag from where it was laying nearby. He opened it and, after a little digging around, pulled out a red colored bottle. Jeremy wrinkled his nose. “What’s that?”

 

“Mountain Dew Red.” The shorter murmured back, heading back over to the bed. He handed the bottle to Jeremy, who sat up and peered down at it curiously.

 

“Okay… so why’re you…” He turned it over in his hand. Bubbles rushed through the soft drink inside. He frowned and looked up at his friend with soft, confused eyes.

 

Michael’s expression was determined and sharp. “You drank Regular Mountain Dew with the Squip, right? That’s how you turned it on. Green Mountain Dew activates it, Red shuts it off. I don’t know what will happen, but once you drink it, the Squip will be _gone_.” He said, voice low.

 

Jeremy blinked at him. “Oh.”

 

They stared at each other for a good moment, Jeremy holding the Red in his hand, Michael uncomfortably shifting his weight from foot to foot. He glanced down at the label on the bottle, which clearly read “Mountain Dew Red” in a retro font. It certainly seemed like something Michael would buy.

 

“Oh?” Michael burst after a moment, and when Jeremy simply shrugged, he grew a bit frantic. “Well? Aren’t you gonna drink it?”

 

Jeremy frowned. “But… ’m useless without the Squip.” He murmured. “Why would I want to shut them off?” When Michael only stared at him in return, he continued. “Without them, I can’t do anything right. I can hardly talk to people.”

 

“You’re talking to _me_.” Michael retorted, voice rough. Why was he angry now. “You don’t do that when it’s on.”

 

“Yeah, and before the Squip, you were the _only_ person I talked to. Now you’re just a link to Jeremy 1.0. I hang out with different people now.” Jeremy said, giving a half shrug, and Michael blanched. Not wanting to look at the utter shock on his (ex-?) friend’s face, he looked down to the bed and fidgeted with the blanket instead.

 

“Jeremy _what_?” Michael said after a long moment of silence. His voice was quiet now, though still rough. All hints of determination were now replaced with shock, confusion, and hurt. Jeremy didn’t like the fact that he could divide the other’s voice into percentages of emotion, so he continued on quickly.

 

“One point _oh_ . I’m different now. Tonight was jus’… y’know, a fluke.” He muttered. He thought back to the moment when he’ d accepted the drink that would push him over the edge of drunkenness, and the Squip over the edge of being-there-ness. He’ d just wanted some time to think, and also to not have sex with a girl he hardly knew. This Mountain Dew Red could give him that, but _forever._ For the rest of time. Maybe tonight _wasn’t_ a fluke.

 

Did he _want_ to get rid of the Squip though? It would be the right thing for Michael. He knew he probably should, but… he couldn’t _function_ without it. It was almost a part of him now. Did he want to get rid of this important piece of himself?

 

“No it wasn’t. Jeremy…” Grasping for words, he tugged at the sleeves of his red hoodie, fingers rubbing over the soft material.

 

“What happened in the bathroom at the Halloween party at Jake’s house?” Jeremy interrupted almost out of nowhere, gripping at the blanket out of nervousness, then flinching again at the habit.

 

Michael, once again confused at the change of subject, just looked at him. After a moment of processing what he’d said, he slowly asked, “What?”

 

“At the Halloween party. You confronted me in the bathroom. I can’t…” He huffed, shaking his head and looking down at the bottle in his hand. “I can’t remember.”

 

Michael, not for the first time that night, stared at him incredulously. “You don’t _remember?_ ” He asked frustratedly.

 

Jeremy fidgeted with the blanket. “I _can’t_ remember.” He muttered. All he knew about the encounter was that it was something he _should have_ remembered. What kind of terrible friend didn’t remember important shit like that? Him, apparently.

 

He was less tired now. He’d probably be sleeping if it weren’t for Michael giving him that Mountain Dew Red. He shifted, glancing at his friend and observing his tired frown, his furrowed brows. It wasn’t _Michael’s_ fault, though, was it. It had been him to get the two of them into this mess.

 

“Do you really wanna know?” Michael asked finally, his voice quiet and exasperated as he ran a hand through his hair. He shuffled closer, plopping down on the bed next to the other. “Jeremy, I...”

 

“I wanna know. I _need_ to know, Michael.”

 

“... Okay. Fine, whatever, I...” He exhaled sharply, then took a deep breath. “You came in, and I, I... I don’t know, you seemed weird. You sat down on the floor by the bathtub, and I was sitting in it in that stupid ‘college party’ costume I have.” Jeremy let out a laugh despite himself at that. Michael smiled slightly at him, but it quickly disappeared.

 

“So, uh—well, I kinda grabbed your shoulder...” He gave a breathless laugh. “I don’t know. It was stupid. It scared you. Uh... I confronted you about the Squip, I told you about a guy who went—who went crazy trying to get his Squip out. I told you how I found out about Mountain Dew Red. I offered you some.”

 

Michael stopped, and Jeremy let him. He wanted to know more, obviously, but Michael was going fast trying to skim over everything. He got the feeling something _happened_ ; no, he _knew_ something happened. He didn’t know _what_ , though. That’s what he wanted to know. Beside him, he could feel Michael’s breath go fast. He placed a gentle hand on his friend’s back, waiting for his breathing to slow again.

 

“You—you,” He started again after a minute or so, stuttering. “Um, you—well, you didn’t want it. Obviously. O-or you wouldn’t have a Squip.” He let out a breathy little laugh and shook his head, bringing a hand up to run it through his messy hair. “You told me to get out of your way. I didn’t.”

 

Jeremy chewed his lip. Did he remember that? No, he carefully decided after a moment, but it sounded like something _bad_ happened next. Michael was silent again. He took one of his friend’s hands. “You don’t have to keep going. It’s okay.”

 

He felt Michael squeeze his hand gently and squeezed back, a bit firmer. Michael dropped against him defeatedly, like he was giving in to something, and Jeremy let his arm slide around Michael’s broad shoulders. They sat like that silently for a couple minutes.

 

“You called me a loser.” He heard Michael say softly, and then he made a little noise. “I started to step aside, an’ then you shoved me out of the way. After you left, I, uh, I locked the door and. I kinda. Had a panic attack?”

 

He’d phrased it as a question, but Jeremy reacted the same as he would have if he hadn’t. “What? Michael, I-”

 

“No, shut up, it’s okay!” They both paused. “I mean, it’s not okay. Not, uh, not yet. Let’s just say... I forgive you. But it’s not okay yet. You... you have to make it okay. Okay?” He squeezed Jeremy’s hand tightly. Jeremy squeezed back gently.

 

“... Okay... I’m sorry Michael.” He murmured softly.

 

“... I know.” Michael breathed, pressing closer.

 

They sat like that for a long time, any eventually Jeremy was falling asleep again. He was really, really tired after tonight. Eventually, Michael stood up and gently took the Red from him.

 

“Wait—” He mumbled. “Don’t you want me to drink it?”

 

Michael smiled sadly at him. “It’s late, Jere. Go to sleep, okay? Let’s figure this out in the morning.”

 

He would have argued. Really, he would have. Michael obviously wanted him to drink it. Everything would be easier for Michael if he did.

 

But, then again. Michael looked so _tired_ . Michael needed a _break_ from fixing all the problems Jeremy caused. So he smiled back softly and nodded, starting to lay down. “Okay. Goodnight, Michael.”

 

“Night, Jeremy.” He murmured softly, heading out the door. It shut with a soft _click_ , leaving Jeremy alone in the dim light of the lava lamp.

 

He sat there for a moment before tugging off his gray hoodie and tossing it on the floor. He assessed the rest of his clothes before deciding they were fine to sleep in and shuffling under the blanket. He laid down and got up close and personal with one of Michael’s pillows, hugging it against his chest but leaving enough room to lay his head on.

 

He closed his eyes, but his thoughts didn’t quiet quite yet. Sleep hadn’t been coming to him easily ever since he got the Squip, so he didn’t think much of it. What he did think about was how warm Michael was, and how cute he was, and how nice he was, and how the Squip had told him he could see Michael after his goal was complete, and how much the Squip blocked out of his memory.

 

He’d known the Squip blocked things out, of course. He wasn’t _that_ oblivious. But it was so much more than he thought it was. He couldn’t remember Rich telling him about the Squip, or buying the Squip. He couldn’t remember the Squip entering. He couldn’t remember a lot about the Squip, but he knew all these events had _happened._ They kept so much from him.

 

This led him back to the previous internal conflict he’d been having. did he want to get rid of the Squip?

 

He didn’t know.

**Author's Note:**

> wahey......... it begins.
> 
> regarding the japanese in this chapter, i asked my friend who is taking japanese if it was correct and she said yes! if theres something wrong with it, please tell me, thank you!


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